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One Side: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?